it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
