Non-Jews are for practice
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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