I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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