Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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