I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
