I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
