How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
