I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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