I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
