I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Acid is not a monday night drug
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
