we have officially lost it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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