Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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