Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
