i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
