when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He felt like a one man threesome
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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