She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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