I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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