we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
