I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
