i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
