i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
