my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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