I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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