Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
