Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
