we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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