I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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