I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
