I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
