Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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