we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it glows. i had to have it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
