you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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