Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
