We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
