There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
