The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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