tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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