so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
