i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
