I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
