After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
