dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
