All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
