also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
