just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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