Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
