well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
