worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
