I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
