You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
