I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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