Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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