He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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