I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
