he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
